Counselling

Counselling can help male victims of domestic violence -

to come to terms with their experiences

to help them deal with the difficult decision of whether to stay in or to leave the relationship

to help them cope with the related losses

to help them learn from and draw something positive from their experience

Choosing a counsellor

Counselling is available face to face, by telephone and by email.  If you are currently in an abusive or violent relationship you may find it difficult to arrange to see a counsellor face to face.  If this is the case telephone counselling or email counselling may be a good place to start.

There are many counsellors and counselling services available but one that you might consider is Relate who offer relationship counselling as well as services for individuals divorcing or separating.  They can offer face to face, telephone, and email counselling.

"Before I split up with my partner I found telephone counselling useful because I could fit it in easier than finding time for a face to face session.  Also, because I'd never had counselling before it was an easier way to start."

If you decide to have face to face counselling you could try asking your doctor if there is counselling available through your local surgery.  Alternatively, a domestic violence helpline might be able to give a recommendation in your area or you could try an internet search.  Counsellors may call themselves counsellors, psychotherapists, therapists or counselling psychologists.  Counsellors accredited by the BACP or UKCP and counselling psychologists accredited by the BPS have undergone extensive training and are professionally regulated.  It might be a wise choice to find someone who has experience of counselling victims of domestic violence or even better, male victims.

If you are able to choose you might think about whether you would prefer a male or female counsellor.  Many men find it easier to talk to a woman about what they are going through but you may feel so betrayed by your partner that you would prefer to talk to a man.  Its simply a matter of personal preference.