Using children

Making him feel guilty about the children
Using the children to relay messages
Using contact visits to harass him
Threatening to take the children away
Threatening to deny contact with the children
Alienating children from him by using criticism, blame and false allegations
Acting as 'gate keeper' to the children often with the sanction of the family courts

Using female privilege

Using sex as a reward or as a sanction
Behaving like a princess and treating him like a slave
Making all the big decisions sometimes by deploying coercion and guilt
Acting like the 'mistress of the castle'
Being the one to define men's and women's roles
Using the family courts to harass him